Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Wishing you well!
My ranting: For those of you that want to know whats going on in my life can continue here. This will be my place to say what I need to too keep my sanity and let you know I'm still alive. What started out to be an act of kindness when my Mother wanted to move to Tennessee to be by her family has turned into a nightmare. My health is suffering because of taking care of Mom, she knows exactly the buttons to push to set me off. She expects me to devote my life, my day to her by sitting with her, waiting on her an abandoning everything I have for her. She has temper tantrums if I go downstairs and work in my studio, she'll go to her room and go to bed or slam the door over and over. She sees people all over the house and she is angry because I tell her over and over there is no one here but her and myself. She just gets so mad because I never believe her. I'm at wits end what to do with her because a private nursing home won't deal with her this way. Right now she's gone to bed, she's mad so she asked to go to bed, she doesn't see what this is doing to me heck I don't think my brother or daughter sees what its doing to me. So what if I take 2 pills for HBP, 2 for triglyceride's and of coarse a anti-depressant. I am so depressed, I can't get out of this funk I need to get away but how? I pray and I've asked God to handle this, I really have given it up to him but in my blindness I don't see the signs. I've even asked God to hit me upside the head to see the answers. Instead of seeing the answer I've read the Bible, prayed and counted to ten hundreds of time and I'm still in the same place. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle and I can't get out. I'm sorry but I had to let it out.